day one-01.08.2008.

i never got around to doin this for a very long time,although i intended to do so at some point...and its funny how i finally get down to it,after reading some random guy s blog(although he s extremely good i must say).i guess this is one way of letting it all go..setting it free..

31.july.2008

i can easily say i am at one of my life s lowest of low points at this very moment.hence,i might be very capable of sounding quite self-absorbed,writhing in self-pity.sometimes you never know and can never figure out what drives you to do the very same things you would not want to have to do.you just keep pushing everything that you should think about to the back of your head.you let it keep building up.finally when its too much to handle,when it gets to you,it fucking hurts..i dont really know if it is the pride in me or just the very essence of me which is so overbearing.driving myself to do the same things again and again,never learning,never wanting to look back and regret or accept that i ve made the wrong choices-like when i choose to act like the world is full of invisible people who i constantly wish would disappear.feel like i am suffering from some anxiety attack or some anti-social disorder..and i am slowly starting to think college is one of the biggest mistakes i have ever made....as it is turning me into some worthless-good-for-nothing-piece-of-shite!sadly...i dont think i m having one of those stereotype full-of-fun college times.but of course thanks to those numerous friends outside this craphole,who continue keeping me sane and afloat at most times.

P-mallu,but nothing like a mallu..gladly.went to middle school with him for like 5 years and never got around to even having one decent conversation with him.got to know him in a whirlwind of phone conversations.which may not be enough in truth,but he is still there to wake up and listen to my nightmares and also sadly laughs at my power of imagination.been through my best and my worst in the short period(say almost 2yrs) i knew him.talks so much sense sometimes,rather he sounds like he s right most of the time,that i dont really know what to make out of it sometimes.very smart in the head.sort of like the unexplored goldmine,if there is one.this guy actually looked up how to make a lollipop-joint(apparently this type gets you stoned better than the usual) online.enough said i am thinking.

Bm-known this one too for like the longest time ever,right from my hillwoods days(primary school).we went on to study together at middle school.he happened to be my ex-ex-boyfriends bestfriend,for a period of time.still didnt get to know him;went to college in like the same city and had a common friend living in his flat.and thats when it started.can never seem to get rid of him ever since.stuck with me through everything life threw at me.he has these weird philosophies about life which will make the smartest people think twice about their outlook on life.


R-quirky.LOUD.her brain has a direct connection to her oral cavity.whatever s on her mind is out there in the open for everyone to gape at.comes up with the most ridiculous notions like how would it be if all of us crawled instead of walked,how would it be if girls had penises..for example.she can get quite innovative sometimes.my constant companion ever since i was 12.


V-the only person who can make a joke about me AND get me to laugh about it.he somehow manages to get the goods,inspite of his almost 200pound kind-of-obese-self.very special.extremely funny,extremely affectionate,one person i cant stop loving.

i can move on in life..make new friends..live differently..but the point being..these are the few of the many more,who continue to make it all worth it.the good,the bad and the ugly.